I dream of starships & angels.

Author's Note: This list will consist of RPF (Real People Fiction) and normal fan fiction. If you do not like what I write, don't comment about it. You can just press BACKSPACE and move on with your life.



( Real People Fiction )

( Fan Fiction )

( Extreme Crossovers )

Title: Elysian Fields
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters/Pairing: Dean/Castiel, Sam/Gabriel
Rating: PG
Spoilers: 5.08
Word Count: 447
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Summary: Gabriel: kicking things up a notch since he scared the shit out of Mary two thousand years ago.
Author’s Note: I don’t know what is up with me but I can’t stop writing these ficlets. I’m blaming this one on my friends for linking me to this and this.

Also, don’t take the title seriously. I’m just being really, really pretentious.


( In the battle between you and the world, bet on the archangel. )

Title: Remembrance [SPN 5.13 coda]
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters/Pairing: Dean/Castiel, Sam
Rating: PG
Spoilers: 5.13
Word Count: 1,220
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Summary: “Where do you think you’re going?”
Author’s Note: I had to get the episode out of my system. And I thought 5.10 was painful. Finishing up the second half of A Deafening Distance so stay tuned...


( Keep going, because there’s nothing else you can do. )

How do I do this? How do I manage to find so much FAIL so fast?

I've become active in this LJ community called Antishurtugal again, through a combination of Twilight and the rekindling of my desire to write original fiction. I've known the group for much longer, but that was when we had forum boards.

Today I went to the community's recent entries and the most recent one addressed homophobia. Apparently I missed out on wank in a previous entry, so I went and read it. It was enraging, so I went back to the homophobia post and commented that I thought the whole debacle was handled poorly and that I hoped we'd be more civil in the future.

I said:

Frankly I was disappointed with the direction the discussion went with regards to unintentional homoerotic innuendo, comments that seem homophobic, homophobia, and slash. It read like people jumping the gun and making assumptions, and turning it into a potential train wreck.

Please, please, please be more civil and kind and considerate. I don't want to be put off this community because of issues like this. We're better than this.

The mod replied:

Thank you. The charged atmosphere we breed to keep this community's flame going sometimes gets redirected at the members when they're not enough bad books to go around.

( Fuck it, here are the comments. )


tl;dr had a debate with the moderator of a community over homophobia and how to deal with it; derailment possible but the point still stands - don't brush it off, don't sweep it under the rug, because it will come back to bite your ass.

So. Avatar. I bitch about it showing up on the news all the time, but I can't ignore it either. Either I'm a hypocrite or I'm just responding to the flood of everything Avatar online and in real life.

Basically, someone at antishurtugal posted an entry regarding the character Jake Sully. Newsflash: he's a Gary Stu, water is wet, the Pope is Catholic, bears shit in the woods. I thought, Ah, now we can get into a discussion about his character, the piss poor plot, and all the controversy swarming this so-called movie of the ages who can't ever beat Gone With The Wind.

Yes they said he was a Gary Stu, yes they said they were more interested in the side characters, yes they said the plot was horrible, yes they said the visual porn was magnificent. No actual discussion about the world building and where Cameron fucked it up; they just said, "It's Ferngully!" "It's Pocahontas!" "It's Dances With Wolves!"

And?

I know I'm forcing the issue and that it's not always productive to be That One bringing it up everywhere (kind of like my mom telling me to stop talking to people about politics), but I'm sorry, how can you not notice it? White man's guilt is so woven into the plot that I don't know how it can be saved. My suggestion that he's a fucked up character desperate to get his fix via a Na'vi avatar doesn't really save the plot, but it's a hell lot better than what Cameron eventually went for (imnsho).

So naturally I posted about all the money I shelled out on a movie I could care less about, and how godawfully uncomfortable I felt throughout the entire thing. I only made passing mention of all the articles and commentary I read that may have affected my opinion of the movie just to keep things civil. I left a disclaimer saying that I was a PoC who pays attention to social issues.

White man's guilt? More like the guilt of any society who has ever conquered anyone ever (note if a society exists in modern times they probably conquered someone at some point). What's done is done, and probably not by you. You can't help what your ancestors or fellow countrymen a hundred years ago did, so there's no reason to feel guilty about it (unless you've actually done it, in which case you should feel very guilty indeed).

A lot of people try to say it's to make them feel bad for slavery, or killing the Native Americans, or other things that they didn't do. Most of us, though, should probably feel guilt on some level, because we do tolerate other people suffering to sustain our standard of living, even if it's not as extreme as in Avatar and hasn't been for a long time. We ignore it most of the time, but I believe seeing a movie like that reminds us that we're letting similar things happen to this very day (just in other countries now, where, like if it were on another planet, we can't see it and like to pretend our conscious is clear) and not doing anything about it. I think that's why a lot of people very strongly hate this movie.

Tell that to someone whose mother country had been occupied quite cheerfully by the Chinese, the Mongols, the Japanese, the Russians, and the Americans (last two? Cold War, hello!).

There is a reason white man's guilt exists. It permeates societies and cultures all around the world like you wouldn't believe it. What about the Age of Colonialism? The carving up of Africa? The Boxer Rebellion? The Aboriginals? The fun times in South America? Oh, how about our own Native Americans, hmm? The Europeans came in and jolted everything, knocking down foundations and doing a roller derby over everybody else because We're Better And We Should Make Them Like Us Except They'll Never Be Like Us And God Bless Everyone.

Disclaimer: I am in no way an expert on this, so if I blow it, let me know.

A few days later the happened-to-be-anonymous comment still bothered me, so I went back to the original post. I looked to see if anybody else responded to said anonymous comment. Instead I found this gem at the very bottom.

Considering the entire Dances With Wolves Thing...

As a (post =)Soviet person, I was raised on East German westerns where Indians Native Americans were the good guys or on books like Henry Rider Haggard's Montezuma's Daughter, where an Englishman sides with the Aztecs to battle bloodthirsty Spaniards (it was widely published in the USSR because it was deemed an "anti-colonial" work).

As a Russian person, I feel completely unburdened by Western white man's burden and associated post-colonial angst.

So I found nothing wrong with the story, which was not even a by-the-numbers going-native plot (you seem to ignore the entire Avatar thing, people...) and quite manageable.

...oh go to hell. My bad you got your ass kicked by the Japanese.


And now for something completely different.

I finally finished A Deafening Distance. A hard copy is sitting next to me - at 12 font it is 48 pages and 18,199 words. I'm not entirely satisfied with it, but it's done and ready to be marked up by a nice red pen.

I can't wait to do this with my NaNo!

*looks at the 100K+ fic-in-progress*

*is so fucking eager*

( In which I write a random Supernatural/Star Trek XI drabblish thing and call it 'Point Pleasant' to keep in line with the theme of naming anything Supernatural-related after songs by God Is An Astronaut. )

Yeah...I don't even know.

I decided that I could use a well-deserved break from my NaNo. I hit the 100K goal, by the way, like hours after 5.11 aired. Genius me. The story is trucking along at a slow and steady pace; I think I'm learning how to shut up my inner critics. They haven't been as bitchy as they were just weeks ago when I couldn't seem to move past Sam's POV.

And then 5.11 happened. Weirdly enough I can write Sam a whole lot better now. Thank you, canon.

Anyway, I'm taking a break from my NaNo - and exporting fics to AO3 while cleaning up my LJ tags - by writing a short fic. I mentioned it before, I think before I went to Mammoth. Anyway I'm actually more than halfway done with it, since it's meant to be a two-parter. It's a nice and lengthy one, too, meaning it's just long enough to provide for some good reading and short enough that I don't drive myself crazy.

( Excerpt from a short Supernatural fanfic. )

The faster I get the second half done, the faster I can self-edit it and then get it beta'd, the faster I can get it all up online. And then I can feel good for a few days, knowing I can actually finish a story. It's a pleasant feeling.

Go, go, go!

I don't need much organizing when it comes to my beloved and well-organized DWJ, but all the same I am moving my fics to AO3. I'm not removing the fics from here, obviously, but eventually all the links in my master post will take you to the fics there. I've uploaded maybe a third of the fics there already, but it is incredibly time consuming.

AO3 is one of the most ridiculously well-organized fanworks archives I've ever come across.


My TA absolutely loves my paper, but I have to figure out my peer reviewer's email in order to get it to her. Goddammit, I should've asked if it was a period or an underscore. Whatever, I'll figure it out after class.

So. The Golden Globes.

Holy crap Robert Downey, Jr. got the nod as Best Actor in a Comedy/Musical film (wtf, Sherlock Holmes is a comedy?). How exciting!

On a more awesome note, Christoph Waltz won as Best Supporting Actor, and I couldn't agree more! His performance was so riveting and mindblowing, and his glee at hunting down the Jews in France was contagious. And the language dance, oh my god. One of the biggest reasons why I love Inglorious Basterds was that German characters spoke German, French characters spoke French, and Hans Landa also spoke English and Italian.

And Giacchino won Best Original Score for Up. Close enough. The extended Star Trek score is a thing of beauty.

I've said all I need to say about Avatar. Moving on.


Something in me wants to keep drawing. Also, ignore any posts I make after 2AM; I tend not to know what I'm saying. And amaretto is fucking golden.

( Fandom!Secrets, never stop being entertaining. )

...and now you know a good reason why I'm going to keep drawing.

You know that basic storyline - boy finds dragon, boy raises dragon, boy and dragon become bff, boy protects dragon? Well one fucking day it popped into my head and warped courtesy of Supernatural and Doctor Who, so now I'm in the process of creating a sentient species whose blood is potent and were nearly hunted to extinction by the elves for their blood; their magic comes through blood sigils and they're even longer lived than the elves, to the point they're practically immortal.

Goddammit. And while we're at it, this February I'm going to take the "build a world in 30 days" challenge, even though February is only 28 days long.


Contemplating writing a very short missing scene from SPN 5.03 based off of someone's icon I saw of Dean and Castiel emerging from the stairwell behind the brothel. In no way did TV Tropes' Supernatural Ho Yay influence this decision. Self, I do not need this on top of all the things I already have to write - The Bookshop AU, At The Old Oil House, A Deafening Distance, the 30 Romances challenge, Fireflies and Empty Skies.

Work on the NaNo is going at a slow and steady pace. Part 3 is almost as long as Parts 0, 1, and 2 combined. Dear god. Am fretting a bit over the introduction of various OMCs and OFCs as well as the change in "hunter society" following the Apocalypse. I hope you don't mind. I rather did like writing Jimmy's cousin...probably because the scene was on the heavy side of emotional and D:


Dear Doctor Who/Torchwood, get out of my head. Hell, I don't want to touch TW; I read a few meta regarding straight women, slash, TW, RTD, Ianto, Children of Earth, a few rude comments, and a whole lot of crazy, and that just ruined me for several days (plus gave me a godawful headache near the end of all the comments).

Sometimes I hate how I ship, but what can I do? The first Doctor I saw was Ten, and the first Companion I met was Donna. I've seen Rose. I've seen Martha. I've seen Nine. I have not seen the Master what is this madness????? Ten/Donna is the first active het tag since very early last summer when I read a few Spock/Uhura fics before Kirk/McCoy stole my life...and lost to Dean/Castiel. I'm mainly in it for gen, friendship, and light romance; I can't stomach the heavy shit, like how I can't keep a straight face when reading PWPs and hard R/NC-17 fics.

Ten/Jack? Oh my god, I keep finding all these communities and while there's some overlap I haven't read most of the fic, so it's like I keep finding all these little treasures everywhere and it's just so overwhelming. Plus a number of authors handle "Ten/Jack, Jack/Ianto" fabulously, and thank god for that.

There is one author whose writing is decent (could be better) but whose stories are...well, she writes great stuff but she's also assassinated Ianto's character, and for a one-shot she had the Doctor and Jack lie to Donna that the planet they're on is "phallicentric" so that she'll stay on the TARDIS and they can spend a day together without having to play tourist guide.

Oh. My. God. You did not.

It's like the fuckers on a horse racing board who called India a Third World country and joked that since the racehorse Richard's Kid was sold to Saudi interests his new owners can rename him "Rashid's Kid".

...


This is going to be uncomfortable territory for me but I'm going to introduce hints of homophobia in the NaNo. It's something I entertained briefly, but following the meta the idea returned full force with the intention to stay.

Now, I've read fics with homophobia in it, but it made me feel awkward. At the same time I can't read all these fics where the characters never encounter homophobia.

I'm talking about SPN, of course. STXI is the future (of love, equality, and tolerance, fingers crossed!) and DW/TW has, for starters, Captain Jack Harkness. SPN takes place in modern day America, and we don't have the greatest reputation when it comes to the LGBTQ community.

During the second draft I might go back and lace it with hints of homophobia; for now I'm going to slip in bits and pieces of it to see if I can bring a hint of realism into the story. I don't pretend to know everything, and I'm part of a tiny minority so in sense I'm still invisible to mainstream culture and society, but I'm going to try and see what happens.


I don't think I can color that drawing until I get far enough in my NaNo to feel vaguely satisfied. *sigh*